How Many Times Can You Say Your Ex’s Name Until It’s Not OK

Tell your boyfriend or girlfriend about your ex.

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I know….sounds totally crazy right? Why TF would you ever bring up your ex on a date with the person you’re with now?!

Well, because they need to know about your past.

There’s a huge misconception that mentioning your ex to your current partner is really bad because it looks like you still have feelings for them. There are actually some benefits to bringing up your ex at some point in your current relationship…here are some the positive ways (and the negative ways) to talk about your ex:

Good

·         Tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about why you and your ex broke up. It’s important to know what went wrong so you can make sure it doesn’t happen in your current relationship. Explaining to them what worked and what didn’t in your last relationship can only help you both in the future- they’ll know how you think, how you handle situations and how to fix things when you fight. They need to learn about your mistakes so you can both move forward (and vice versa).

 

Bad

·         Don’t bring up your ex to compare him to your current boyfriend/girlfriend

·         Don’t constantly mention past memories with your ex

·         Even if you’re current boyfriend is WAY better at something and you want to express that- don’t bring it up. Mentioning their name in that way can come off like you still think about them

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 While my situation is sooo unique because my ex and my current bf were friends, my ex’s name still gets brought up a lot… there’s just no way around it sometimes since our friends are still friends with him. However, my ex and I broke up (majority) because there was no communication between us and to be completely honest, he was really mean. These are things I had to bring up to my current boyfriend so he could understand why I had trust issues and why I act the way I do. The only way to have an honest relationship is to open up to the person you’re with. Communication is key, and that’s something that lacked in my last relationship that I knew I needed to make sure worked with my next one. Because I told my boyfriend about my ex and how there was no communication between us, he has tried to be as open as possible since we started dating. I can 100% say that I feel closer to my boyfriend now only being together for the past 5 months than I did with my ex in 4 years. So yeah, there’s some positives to bringing them up.