As many of you know I’ve been doing this #50 firstdateschallenge for about a year now, while I’ve gotten about half way there, I’ve decided to take it a bit slower these days. Mainly because it’s taken a toll on me emotionally and mentally; going on so many dates and still not finding the right one kinda sucks and makes me question a lot. BUT I’m not here to talk about that right now. That’s for a different day J
What I’ve learned throughout this process is that stepping out of your comfort zone is a good thing, to a degree. What do I mean by this?
You Know Yourself More Than Anyone Else, Don’t Stretch Yourself Too Far
The right way to do it: When I was on Bumble looking for potential matches, I would see guys who I thought were attractive but nothing major special- they might have mentioned something in their bios that I thought was a little weird but I thought I’d give them a chance. If you’re too picky chances are you probably won’t find anyone at all. You have to open to stepping out (with just one foot) and experiencing new things, because there’s a chance you might just hit it off. My most recent ex was not my type at all- horrible style, super jock, super shy BUT these were traits that I could manage and actually ended up loving about him. If you stick to one type of guy it’s going to be a lot harder to find someone.
The wrong way to do it: I am going to say this and I promise I am not trying to be cocky, I am trying to prove a point. Every single guy I went on a date with wanted to keep seeing me- I was the one who pushed away. For example, there was a guy who I matched with that I matched with mainly on looks. Which was very stupid. I met up with him, he was such a gentleman- probably one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met, he had his sh** together, owned a house, had the cutest dog- the whole package! I decided to see this guy again, we actually went out for a few weeks. My friends honestly thought I’d found THE one. But hidden inside of me was this bad feeling. I had stepped out of my comfort zone- with two big ole’ feet, ready to adapt to his way of life and eventually that feeling exploded out of me. For anyone who knows me, I hate country everything and anything. One day I was going over to his house and he was blasting country much, watching FOX news wearing Timbs….I lost it. I walked in and walked right out and just told him I had to leave with practically no excuse or reasoning.
Stepping out of your comfort zone is a good thing, but only to a certain extent. If you don’t like country- odds are you’re not going to be able to accept being with someone who loves country no matter how sweet or kind he is. Of course there are things that you can overlook in a person (like some people may be OK with a country guy even though they’re a city girl), but you can’t try to stay with someone if you REALLY don’t like certain traits of someone. My friends were so mad at me for leaving that guy, and they’re right it did suck because he was a great guy, but not the one for me. Hint Hint: Never settle, even if it means a few more nights Netflix & Chillin’ by yourself.