How to Gift for Someone You’re Not Official with Yet

The modern age dating- you’re seeing each other, but you have no title. You like each other, might be keeping things open, but you spend the most time with this specific person. You’ve kept things pretty casual up until now and haven’t tried to stir things up with a “what are we” conversation…

Until now. The holidays are here. The conversation or even the thought of- “do I get him/her anything for Christmas” has made its way into your mind and probably theirs as well.

Here’s my guide to deciphering what to get your ‘partner’ – if anything…



You’ve been seeing each other for a couple of weeks-couple months

Please, don’t buy him/her anything. If you haven’t known this person for too long and you’re not official yet then a gift is NOT NEEDED. A simple, “hope you have a great holiday, looking forward to hearing all about it” is just enough. You’ve shown that you care and you’re interested in learning more about his life but you’re not going too far where he actually might be turned off by a big gesture. The worst thing you can do is get the person something and get your hopes up that he/she will be getting you something and they don’t…it’s pretty awkward and there’s the potential that things might end between the two of you.

You’ve been seeing each other for a few months


You might have been hanging out for a while but no one has made things official yet, so try not to go overboard with the gift giving. A friend was telling me recently that she’s been seeing this guy for some time now, but they haven’t made things official, so she decided to give him a book she thought he would like for Christmas. THIS IS PERFECT. A small gesture to show that she was thinking about him- nothing too expensive and it’s something that she knew he would like. It’s the thought that counts, if you’re not exclusive yet, don’t go out of your way to get some grand gift, but maybe try to do something nice that shows you care. Doing too much can scare them away.

Dating is hard, especially during the holidays. If you’re still not sure what to get the guy you’ve been seeing who you’re not actually exclusive yet, check out some of my ideas below:

Perfect for the guy or girl in your life- that you’re not actually dating ;)

·         If you know they loves a certain sports team/TV show/movie/etc., get them a small little token that shows you’ve noticed their obsession (like a book, cup, hat, or even a blanket for your next Netflix & chill sesh).

·         If they love music, try a Spotify GC or maybe even cheap concert tickets for an upcoming show- something that you’ll be able to enjoy together that says- I’m thinking about us hanging out again in the future- without coming off too strong.  

·         If they’re a wine or beer lover a fun gift might be a wine/beer that they’d enjoy trying or maybe a winery/brewery tour

·         DO NOT BUY: Something generic. Although you may think that it’s the thought that counts, it also can show that they really have no idea what you like and they might even be gifting all their ‘non-significant others’ the same thing. If you’re going to buy something- do it right. No one likes a half-assed present J