How To Spot A “Black-Hole Boy”

The Definition 

A “black-hole boy” is a guy who has made their way into your life, maybe through school or Tinder, you’ve hung out maybe once and he hits you up all the time but then bails last second or never really follows through with what he says to you. He somehow likes to appear on your phone randomly (usually when he gets bored) and asks you how you’ve been or what you’re up to and then suddenly he disappears. I can justify saying that every guy I ever talked to in high school has now turned into a “black-hole boy”. These BOYS- BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT MEN, don’t really want to date you. They love the single life, they love parading into a girl’s life unexpectedly and hanging around just enough for her to have feelings and then run away, go into hibernation and then when they think the coast is clear, they show up again.

I’ve literally had guys I’ve known since I was 15 years old still do this to me til this day! Granted, I was in a relationship for like a minute BUT once I became single again it’s like they were prepared- they started to snap me, say they miss me, say they want to hang out, blah blah blah- and when the night comes, they bail and become nonexistent for like 3-5 days.

I’d like to think of it as a nice piece of toast, all buttered up to perfection, the toast is perfectly crunchy and the butter is evenly spread out, but once you bite down, you realize you used the shitty kind of butter and it no longer becomes appetizing again until you’re really hungry and you contemplate eating it again.

The Reasoning 

Honestly, I’m still a little lost with this. Maybe I should interview some boys and find out…TBD. I think what it comes down to is a lot of 20-somethings are afraid of commitment and so they think they can just enjoy all the women that they can. Obviously until an alarm goes off in their brain when they notice a girl seeming to flourish with feeling, and then they move onto their next victim- because it’s all just a game, right? BTW this is not targeted at all guys, just the certain special ones who need more help in the dating world.

How To Stop Yourself From Falling For One Of Them 

This can get super tricky, because some guys are super smart and make it seem like they are really invested in you, so it’s always good to keep just a little bit of guard up before deciding which bucket they fall in. If they bail on a date more than once, you should automatically add them to the “black-hole boys” group. They are going to keep asking you to hang out and I can almost guarantee that they will never follow through with your plans. You could even be discussing it for dayss and then once that day hits, they make up some excuse. If they can’t make time for you, don’t waste your time. Don’t waste your time talking to these black whole boys especially if you think you might actually start to have feelings for them. IF you still want to proceed with talking to them, make sure you understand that they are just friends- friends you occasional send a selfie to and that’s all.