So recently I went on a Bumble date,
---> If you guys don't remember I started the #50firstdates challenge and now I'm up to my 4th Bumble date! [with the distraction of my most recent ex, it set me back a little]
My second Bumble date...let me start from the beginning so that you can understand my point of view.
I started talking to this guy, to keep it anonymous lets call him Bumble #2. He seemed pretty cool, smart and funny. In my opinion not the most attractive but I've been trying to expand my horizons when it comes to dating because clearly the type I've been going for hasn't been working out too well...So this guy was a really big talking- asked me about 100 questions to learn more about me, pretty much told me his whole life story and would double text if I didn't answer right away. I should also mention that we only texted for about a week before meeting.
So we finally met, and we met at this really cute restaurant local to us that I hadn't been to in awhile so I was pretty excited, he had good taste in bars/restaurants. Well besides the fact that he looked nothing like the pictures on his profile, the date was going alright for the most part. (I'm not even going to get into how he looked totally different than what I had expected, that'll be saved for another blog post)
I had eaten before we went out so that just incase we did actually eat I wouldn't be too hungry and want to stuff my face in front of him. Well I didn't have much to be worried about since he didn't even ask if I was hungry, even though we were sitting down at a table at a restaurant- and when the waitress came over he shut her down and told her we weren't eating...LIKE OKAY THEN.
We ordered a couple of beers, I had one and he had two. We sat there talking for a couple hours, surprisingly we were able to keep the conversation going and it wasn't really too awkward. Finally when I was getting tired and just felt like going home I waved the waitress down and got the check.
So here's how this went:
My beer was $6, I threw him a $10 because that's all the cash I had on me and I figured I would offer to split and see how he would react to it. Without even flinching, he used my $10 for the bill and said, "thanks". People- I had a f***ing $6 beer. He couldn't even pay for that?! Well needless to say, besides the fact that I did not find him attractive, I was so turned off by the fact that he had kept my money, I never talked to him again after that night.
The Moral of My Story
Do I think the guy should pay on the first date?
Yes. If they initiated the date, picked where we they going and the girl wasn't a total bitch, then yes I think they should pay even if the girl offers.
Do I think that the guy should pay for every date?
Absolutely not. If the girl is independent and respects the guy than she should offer to pay at least half of the time they're dating or offer to buy the guy a drink, etc. etc. etc. ...
If a woman wants to be treated equally then it's only fair that they contribute and pay once in awhile.
I feel that on the first date the man should be courting the woman. The couple doesn't know each other all that well so he should be showing her that he is capable of showing respect to a woman- and no I don't mean that they have to go the extra mile by opening the car door or pulling the chair out for her- all of that is not necessary. Offering to pay for the first meal together is plenty. (Unless she's a crazy bitch thennn I'd say it's okay for you to make her pay or split the bill)
In my opinion splitting the bill on the first date gives the woman the idea that the man will never do anything for her, not just things involving money.
When Bumble #2 took my money it automatically made me think two things:
- He's a cheap fuck.
- He'll never want to do anything for me if he can't even pay for my beer on the first date.
I say this with hesitation because in no way am I a greedy person. If anything I paid more for things in my last relationship than he did. It's about give and take, you're both in this together, but when it comes to a first date I really believe that the man should be paying. And if the girl offers- that's a great f***ing sign! It shows she cares, and if she persists on paying, have her leave the tip or tell her she can pay next time (if you want there to be a next time).