As many of you know after breaking things off with my most recent ex I decided I needed a change. I wanted to get out of my comfort zone, stop going for BG hoodrats (AKA my hometown peeps) (AKA Black Hole Boys see here) so I created the #50firstdateschallenge. Expand my horizons- try online dating, try to meet guys at bars, etc. etc. In doing this, the last emotion I would have thought to be feeling was exhausted; meeting new people is fun! But apparently it's a little more complicated than that...
When you put yourself our there it can be tiring.
Here are my reasons why dating can sometimes not be as fun as you think it's going to be:
You have to commit to letting people into your world. If you go on a couple dates with a guy, obviously they're going to want to know more about you so you have to try to let them in. Unless you're a good liar, you're going to have to start telling the guy more about yourself. Sounds simple enough right? Not if things don't work out and you find yourself casually dating (like myself) it gets pretty tiring having to keep explaining your whole life story every time you meet a new guy. And it's not even telling them that's the worst part, it's figuring out what to tell at what time of the relationship/dating period. Like when is it appropriate to tell them I don't want to have kids? Do I mention that my moms deaf? Like will they ever actually meet her? STRESS-FUL. You don't want to say too much where it scares them away but you don't want to not say anything at all where they may think you're not interested. Oh and did I mention all the fake smiling and pretending to enjoy yourself when you meet their family/friends (or vice versa)? Unless they're super cool then it's okay- but still it's a lot of work for something you don't know will work out or not.
Trying to read the other person's signals. After 3 or 4 dates seems to be around the time where you'll probably feel like you either want to keep seeing the other person or not, but how do you know if it's going as well as you think it is?! Unfortunately, you have to have the dreaded "talk". This is THE worst. I am not the type of girl who likes to share my feelings all the time but sometimes it's necessary. This sh!t is stressful! This could potentially make or break the relationship like either you're on the same page or you're not and things could get ugly. Don't you wish you could just read their minds?!
Figuring out how to break things off. If things aren't going well with the guy (or girl) you're seeing the hardest yet most important thing to do is break things off. DO NOT lead them on. If you're a sweet, caring person (like myself) and don't have the balls to just ghost them, you have to find a way to let them down easy. F***ING EXHAUSTING!!!
Yes, dating can sometimes be super stressful but it's sort of a fun adventure when you think about it. But if you don't think you can handle any of these reasons I listed then you're probably not ready to start dating. You have to be able to take the good with the bad. I totally do not mind sitting at home by myself cuddling with my dog but that sometimes gets really lonely which is exactly why I deal with the really unfun things I listed above. I want to find that someone special ....yeah ew I'll stop now lol.