Everyone always asks me why I call myself “gypsea” girl and why I write about dating.
Well, here it is:
I don’t really know where home is. My current living situation is not my home. It’s a place where I lay my head every night, but when I walk in the door each day I get a negative vibe. Like a bad stomach pain that won’t go away. People say, “well then move!” Well, it’s not that easy when everything you know is tied to that area and you’ve spent your entire life take care of your mother. The guilt is unbearable sometimes.
And so I found a career that has taken me to a place I feel alive, like I’m someone else and it feels amazing. But, I can’t afford to live there and moving near my job and around my family still scares me because I’m scared to fail.
So I live a double life. Sometimes I don’t know who I am. But I know that when I’m by the water I feel safe and at peace. GypSEA.
So why do I write about dating?
Well, because it’s the only thing in my life that I can’t control. I can’t control how someone else feels about me and that’s the most challenging thing to accept. I’ve always excelled at everything I did from dance to college to my career- if I put 110% into it, I can achieve my goals.
But with dating, I spent 4 years pouring my heart and soul into someone who I loved, but in the end I couldn’t control how he felt about me. So, I write about my dating adventures because I never know what may happen next and everything that happens surprises the fuck out of me!