Being single has taught me to trust myself, trust my gut and learn when I should start to trust someone else. As many of you saw in my last post, I was super excited about this date I went on- the adrenaline rush I got after seeing him was AMAZING, but I knew not to get too excited. Why? Because the first couple of weeks of texting someone new is telling, and the first time you meet that person is also telling. Things might not pan out the way you think they will. People can be manipulative, sneaky, and plan right stupid. Which is exactly what happened to me…
While I thought things were going well, I knew to hold back a little- trust myself enough to know things may not work out and it’s not worth putting all of your energy into one person after only meeting them once. While it may have been great, that doesn’t really mean anything.
So what exactly am I talking about?
A few days after the guy (who will remain anonymous) and I hung out, he blocked my number- for one day. And then the next day he apologized, said he was an asshole, and told me he had been hanging out with another girl.
I had trust in myself to know odds are he would probably keep doing something like that, keep playing games with me, and that was not something I wanted to deal with. So, I told him how I felt and I moved on.
16 year old me wouldn’t have done that. 16 year old me would keep talking to him even though I knew it was a good idea. Why? Because teenage girls are boy-hungry. They don’t care what the consequences are, they just care if a hot guy is talking to them. 23 year old me would rather take a nap then talk to a guy…clearly I’ve evolved tons.
Going off of that- if I didn’t trust myself I could have kept talking to him, could have pretended like it wasn’t a big deal. But, at the end of the day, I’m looking for a relationship, I’m not looking to talk to someone (for months) and find out he’s also talking to multiple other girls at the same time and doesn’t actually want to settle down.
Obviously this is something SO HARD, especially if you’ve just broken up with someone. Why? Because you’re on the rebound and you don’t care what’s next- you just want a distraction.
You conquer the scariest things when you’re single. Like being alone. But when you’re alone you learn a lot about yourself, and you learn to be OK with who you are and understand that it’s better to wait than to fall for the first guy you see. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go on dates, it means you should be cautious and trust your instinct.