I’m in the process of removing toxins out of my body ….and no not from alcohol, but from my ex who left me practically mentally paralyzed after four years. When you think of a real hangover you think of the shitty headache you get, the stomach turning feeling every time you think of the alcohol you consumed and the amount of water and advil you’re throwing down your throat to make it all go away fast. Love hangovers are very similar- every time you think of them, you get knots in your stomach and you’re doing everything possible to numb the horrible feeling you have after that super high of love.
The past 2 years of having us be in limbo- the stage of non-dating/dating has left me feeling like I couldn’t commit to anyone but him, even though we weren’t actually in a committed relationship. I essentially fucked myself over by putting myself in this position thinking things would ever change.
Sometimes a cure for a hangover is a big glass of blood mary the next day – hair of the dog. I’ve tried this, getting up the next day and instead of sulking in my sadness I’d go out and find the closest guy to sleep with so that I could get over whatever I was feeling. The thing is that this plan almost always bites you in the butt eventually.
This past hangover wasn’t quite as bad as times before. After drinking for so long I knew what to expect. So, I thought I could drink again the day after- take a sip of a new guy. While this sounds like intriguing, and because I’m only 23 I should be good to bounce back quick from a hangover and be able to drink two days in a row, right? Like fuck it, if an opportunity would arise why not get my fix?!
Unfortunately this time, it wasn’t a quick solution. Unfortunately this time, I’m binging. Binging on feelings- uncharted territories feelings...like I actually like someone?! This NEVER happens...
I didn’t think I could love alcohol again after the damage it put me through and the hangover it gave me. But I guess I was wrong. However, this time I think things are a little different. I’ve moved up in the alcoholic beverage category- from Bud Light piss water to a really nice glass of Chardonnay. While I’m still in the process of removing the piss water out of my system, I’ve decided to give this new drink a try. However…
Since we just found out The Hills are coming back, I must quote my favorite show: The rest is still unwritten