Sometimes love can blind you. Sometimes you don't realize that it can completely change the person that you really are. Sometimes you don't realize this is happening until it's too late
I drifted from the important people in my life.
When you’re in a relationship sometimes you have a tendency to want to spend so much time with your significant other that you forget that there are other people in your life that care about you that you should also be spending time with. It happens. Usually it happens when you first get into a relationship and eventually you learn how to balance your social life with your love life and all things become easier. But sometimes that doesn’t happen. I became so worried about pleasing my significant other and tricking myself to think that being with him was so much more fun than hanging out with my friends that I literally stopped hanging out with my friends as much. This is what happened when I cared too much about being with my boyfriend.
I became a jealous person.
I started to get jealous when he would make plans with his friends rather than me. I started to get jealous when he was on his phone and not talking to me. I started to get jealous when my friends started to make plans without me. This is what happened when I cared too much about what everyone else was doing.
I became an angry person.
Because of my jealousy I became angry. And when my friends began to badmouth my significant other because he was “changing me” I became angry. Everything around me made me mad unless I was with my boyfriend. This is what happened when I cared too much about what other people thought.
I began to lie about what was really going on in my relationship.
I didn’t want anyone to know about how we were fighting so much. I didn’t want to come to terms that things weren’t picture perfect. I cared so much about keeping that image that I stopped telling my friends about what was going on in my relationship, because keeping quiet was better than telling the truth. I cared so much about wanting to make the relationship work that I tried to pretend nothing was wrong and the fights would eventually go away. This is what happened when I cared too much about keeping a [toxic] relationship.
I lost my relationship because of it.
I cared so much about this man that I lost sight of the signs around me. The signs that things really weren't working out. That I had lost my friends, I had lost who I was and eventually I had lost him.